1. Twilight.
Yes, I admit it. But it's a guilty pleasure for a reason because I hate to admit it. I was a British Literature major, people, and Stephanie Meyer ain't no Thomas Hardy. All that teen angst and cheesy love lines? I can't even tell you how hard I threw "Breaking Dawn" across the room after that bullshit "sex scene" I had been waiting THREE whole books to read. Now, with all that said, let me tell you what I do love about Twilight that keeps me dusting off my collection from time to time: two words. LOVE. TRIANGLE. I am still a girl, after all, and what girl doesn't love two guys going after one woman? Plus, the whole werewolf thing and Taylor Lautner's rocking body? Um, yes please.
2. Chips.
Holyfreakincrap I love chips. Plain chips with french onion dip. Nachos with the works. Any and every brand of Doritos, Fritos, Pringles... and don't even get me goin' on those amazing bites of happiness that is the Cape Cod chip. I would stab a bitch for the last bag of Cape Cod salt & vinegar chips. I guess its the same way most girls love chocolate... but much more scary.
3. Ke$ha.
God I love to hate and hate to love that bitch. She's so skanky acting and phony to me but every single one of her mind-numbingly untalented songs makes me want to roll the windows down in my car, sing at the top of my lungs, and imagine I'm back in high school trying to score beer and crash parties. Oh, the shame.
4. Jersey Shore.
Could there be anything worse on television right now? That show is why every other country in the world hates us. If the Taliban got a hold of even one episode, they'd officially drop a bomb on us for being so stupid. All they do is get drunk, fight, tan, and have sloppy sex with people in hot tubs! But oh my gah, Ronnie is a freakin' player and Sammy is so stupid for taking him back time and time again and Snooki is 4'9" of awesome ridiculousness and JWoww's boobs keep me mesmerized every damn episode. Ugh, I hate myself.
5. Beer and online gaming.
It pretty much speaks for itself. My idea of a rockin' Friday night is a PBR and long, uninterrupted hours of Halo 3, Red Dead Redemption... the list goes on. And yes, I wear my headset and scream at 15 year olds. I'm only human.
So now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go hang my head in shame after admitting all these brutally honest tidbits of information about me. What are some of your guilty pleasures?
big brother!!!! i'm OBSESSED and watch the after dark show on showtime everyday (and it's 3 hours long...but I fast forward most of it). How lame am I????
ReplyDeleteSee, shit like that is why I had to put parental control on MTV. I kept catching Dustin watching 16&Pregnant and Teen Mom.
ReplyDeleteI really, really, really don't understand how anyone can watch those reality shows. Like that Kardashian shit? It's just stupid people acting even stupider than they are, and stupid viewers exalting the brainless bullshit. Except for Ace of Cakes cause that shit is amazing.
I hardly ever watch it, but when I do, I can sit through hours and hours of it--Law & Order. I can't STAND the ones with Vincent D'onofrio and Kathryn Erbe. I want to punch the shit out of the former, and the latter is about as engaging as watching paint dry.
Oh, but don't misunderstand--I HATE THAT SHOW. The acting is deplorable, the story lines are a contrivance, contrary for the sake of being contrary. I spend most of the time yelling my critique and criticism at the damn television, making a point to call Ice-T out personally--Honest to god, how can he sleep at night being such a goddamn stereotyped character?
Yet...hours...hours and hours of it...
Guilty pleasure = Twilight. And for me it's not even the love triangle its Edward..no not Robert Pattinson, but literally Edward. He is probably the ONLY fictional character (aside from Capt. Jack Sparrow of course) that is desirable. I think all girls want to be loved as deeply as he loves Bella...::sigh::
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