Reason #8: Your Mom Needs to S-T-F-U

*sigh*

The more I compose this list, the more I worry people will get the wrong impression of its purpose. My reasons for my Facebook negativity is completely personal; I cannot stress that enough. I want to be able to analyze my thoughts on the subject in a composed manner so I can make a decision about whether or not it can be a positive enough experience in my life despite its many flaws. I by no means want anyone to feel attacked or that I'm judging them in any form or fashion. Now that the disclaimer is over, allow me to proceed...

Tell your mom to STFU.

Ha, I kid, of course... well, sort of. (But if she doesn't know what "S-T-F-U" means, by the way, that just proves my point.) Somewhere between Facebook being open to everyone besides just college kids and the birth of Farmville *shutters*, middle-aged parents used their "index finger only" typing skills and made Facebook pages of their very own. Why do I loathe this with every fiber of my being? For the following reasons:

Nine times out of ten, our elders aren't even computer-savvy enough to even Facebook properly. How many hilarious screenshot fails have you seen where older people have posted incorrect or inappropriate things because of their failure to comprehend the difference between "messages" and "wall posts". Sure, it's funny... but then it just gets sad and annoying.



Oh, you're the one out of ten elders I spoke about that IS computer-savvy? Sorry, you aren't off the hook just yet. Another reason: just because you know HOW to Facebook, doesn't mean you are doing it properly. Proper Facebook etiquette (again, in my personal opinion) does not and should not ever include telling others how and why they should do certain things that they are revealing to you. If Jane Smith is having a "rocking party and is gonna get wasted" this weekend, that's Jane Smith's priority. If she is your real friend, you won't care anyway. If she isn't, then why the hell are you looking at her Facebook status in the first place? ...but I digress. The crime so many older people (particularly these people's parents) who have successfully navigated their way onto our Facebook pages are buzz-kill commenting and, well, shitting all over your good time. I literally had to block a friends' posts so that I couldn't read them because her dad would write 4 page comments reprimanding her for every little thing she did. Plus, this girl is 23 years old, dude. Not only was I experiencing some father/daughter drama just by reading her posts (awkward), I now want to strangle some strange man I've never even met before because frankly he is pissing me off. You aren't some cool parent getting let into the cool club by your kids because they accepted your friend request. You're just awkward. And annoying. Go away.




Now, with all THAT said, I do have some very well-behaved moms on my Facebook friend list so I by no means am talking about you guys. How do you know for sure? Because I actually am your friend on Facebook which means you've passed the test and aren't a party to either of the above scenarios I mentioned. You rock my world for beating the odds that are so stacked against you.

So there it is, reason numero ocho for wanting to be rid of Facebook entirely. See the hostility in my words just DESCRIBING the situation? Geesh. I'm going to take a much needed chill pill and contemplate my next rant.

Next up... Reason #7: Judge Not Lest Ye Be Blocked.

Reason #9: T.M.I.(Too Many Infants!)

...and no, it isn't what you think. I'm not at all going to knock anyone's choice to start a family young. That ain't my style. My "thing" about it is 100% personal. It may even be a flaw I have to work on within myself. But, like I said, I need to list reasons that Facebook gives me negative vibes and, unfortunately, everyone's baby-making is making me an anxious wreck.

I've spoken a few times about the pressure I'm under as a 26 year old woman with a husband and a stable household and good income. It's as if people are confused as to why I don't have children (well, except for my fellow childless couples; they know what's up). No one is breathing down my neck or making me do anything against my will, of course, but it is a personal issue I can't quite get a handle on. When I read blogs of other moms (which I LOVE to do!), I get glimpses into women's lives that seem so fulfilled. It makes me happy for them and I thoroughly enjoy feeling as though I'm sharing in the experience. For some reason, though, Facebook friends who routinely post about what's going on in their past, present, and future reproduction ventures makes me question, well, everything!



This idea that maybe I'm crazy to feel fulfilled without children creeps in. Everyday things I do for myself feel selfish because there's 47 other people who post simultaneously about the things they did for others all day. Some posts even spin my brain into wondering if I'll never really have a true grasp on life unless I create one. I begin to second guess my whole existence! I know, I know. I already said it's probably a flaw within myself to even think this stuff. It is absolutely no one's fault. It isn't peer pressure, it's "me" pressure. But with so many people going through pregnancy after pregnancy and sharing details of their lives that seemingly discuss their life with said child, fetus, infant, etc., I hardly have anyone on the other side of the spectrum along with me to relate to on Facebook.

So, sorry Zuckerberg. Somewhere out in cyberspace is a chain of friends who lead lives I can relate to via Facebook status on a daily basis. My friend list just ain't one of them.

Next up... Reason #8: Your Mom Needs to S-T-F-U

Reason #10: They're Going Down & They're Taking Me With Them!

I get it, people. You had a bad day. We all get 'em.



As a social norm, we write what and how we are feeling in our status update and undoubtedly you won't be feeling so great every day. Tires go flat, babies keep you up at night, professors can be a pain... that's life and Facebook is about, well, your life. There is a plus side to being able to log your daily (or hourly... you know who you are!) emotions and it isn't necessarily because everyone enjoys reading them. The most important side of having all your emotions journaled right there in chronological order is to see first hand what YOU are projecting out into the universe. Who you are is what you are projecting and self-projection these days is Twitter and Facebook... duh! I do it, too!

As a loyal Facebook-er, I have clicked on "Recent Updates" every day for the past 3+ years and can honestly say I haven't missed a single friends' status update. I scroll down until I get to the one I read before on the previous Facebook log-in and then I'm all caught up. Having done this so religiously for so many years, I have a pretty good idea of how everyone wants to be seen as a person. This isn't always a bad thing! Many of you have beautiful families or fulfilling lives that you update about in your statuses and I love reading them! I'm simply saying that if you had black and white pages of JUST your status updates for however long you've been on Facebook, you'll have a key insight on exactly what you are projecting to the world. Is this a good thing? Of course! Are you utilizing this vast technology to impliment change when some things look like they need to be worked on in your life? Hmmm... not all of you. 'Cause all evidence in most cases are to the contrary.

It is almost if people have bought into the notion that their life sucks and that's their fate! Status update upon status update of how many bad things are going on in their life pile up until all you really are projecting is grumpiness and bad attitude. I use to not notice, but on my journey to seek out the positive and weed out the negative I'm noticing more and more... some people just BREATHE negativity! Surely they aren't always having a bad day? If the archive of your updates reads nothing but bad days, it starts to look like pity-seeking. There's only so many friends who will continue to comment uplifting quips on your status, you Negative Nancy, before you become some eyeliner away from being an ignored emo kid.



Oh, and it isn't just status updates. I have friends from every spectrum of the political and religious arena and although I'm pretty set in my ways, I love emersing myself in the diversity. I noticed a very long time ago that I had become one of those people who were choking my friends with possibly offensive comments regarding my own views. Notice I said "a very long time ago"? As soon as I took advantage of reviewing my update archive, I cut it out quick. That person is not the person I wanted to be... or even liked! I used my epiphany to turn my whole prospective around and I've even become a better, less judgemental person because of it. Where, I ask, are these other people's epiphanies?!

Some are using Facebook as a soundboard for their views and opinions which of course is okay! What I don't feel is okay are the people who sound off their political views in order to insult and mud-sling. You wouldn't walk into a party and start saying how stupid a religion is and rant about how awful of a person others are for who they voted for in the last election, would you? At least if you did, you wouldn't be very well-liked. I'm all for "being yourself", or course, but since when did Facebook make it okay to throw out social decency and good ol' "how your mama raised ya" philosophies of right and wrong?

It's taken me a long time to admit this. I've honestly wanted to de-friend people for it, but haven't because I would feel like the ultimate hypocrite. What kind of person would I be for always advocating everyone get along with people from every walk of life and then de-friend the people who I don't get along with myself? In retrospect, I fear the backlash. But yes, it is hurtful and unfair to behave that way and shouldn't I be a bigger advocate for positivity? After all, if I'm on a mission to eliminate the negative from my life and YOU are negative... well... get my drift?

So there it is. Reason #10 to stop Facebook-ing. If it is going to become the norm for people to just be negative and announce it whenever the mood strikes them, well, that's your bag. I'm sure everyone's purpose in doing so is not to bring me down (at least I'm hoping!), but since it is doing just that, then I don't mind quietly looking the other way.

Next up... Reason #9: T.M.I.(Too Many Infants!)

Happy Thoughts & Pixie Dust!

I finally have internet connection, can you tell?! Hooray!

Now, to start, I have good news and bad news! I normally pick bad news first so the good news can cheer me up but in this case, either is not going to get us very far so I'm starting with the good! So the good news? I have a LOT to catch you up on! I went to Disney World for the FIRST time last week AND we moved into our new house finally! Details and memories galore! The bad news, however, is, well, I'm not in the mood to post it all just yet! I'll get it all together I PROMISE! It will be worth the wait!

Today, though, I want to talk about something that has been much more important to me lately. Believe me, Disney was a HUGE life-altering experience, but something happened on the plane ride to Orlando that changed my entire outlook on life... and it has opened the door to some big changes that I was in desperate need of!

I read a book about positive thinking. Nothing special in it; no tricks or gimmicks or things to buy to turn your life around... just advice on how good ol' positive thinking is the key to success and happiness and negative thinking is, well, the opposite. As soon as I read that negative energy is not the result of my circumstances but the REASON for it, light bulbs started flashing everywhere in my head like paparazzi photographs. I am my only excuse for the way that I feel because I'm in charge of the feelings I project! Well, after that, I can honestly say even Disney World, in ALL its glory, seemed even brighter than I could ever imagine. As soon as I turned my frown upside down (literally!) I felt on top of the world... and the feeling has NOT stopped! It's amazing how many things I was stressing about or allowing myself to bring me down. As soon as I used the steps in the book to flip the situation on its good side, I felt silly for ever letting things get to me! And it hasn't been just a mood elevator. I'm seeing things with brand new eyes. I'm feeling things I haven't felt since I was young and blissful. And the hard, negative things that keep creeping their ugly head? They are getting easier and easier to recognize and deal with; just simple obstacles I have to shed to a brighter and better me.



So like I said, the book didn't instruct on any specifics. It didn't come with a manual of Do's and Don'ts. It said to just trust your instincts about what is positive for yourself and what isn't. I've been going about my everyday life as normal, all the while reversing and rewriting things in my head so that my outlook stays bright. Up until yesterday I hadn't hit any snags or even done things too drastically different until... the epiphany.

Like most people, my daily routine includes several glances of various updates on Facebook. It has been a phenomenon, if you will, with almost 100 million people partaking as of today. I love seeing people's pictures and staying in touch with old friends that I don't normally see or hear from in my every day life. I'm so very thankful for Facebook in so many ways and so habitually drawn to it that it has become, like I said, part of my daily routine. However, my daily routine is what I've been keeping a closer eye on for negativity I have to work on, remember? And just like you don't assume brushing your teeth or putting on socks is a threat to your happiness, I didn't even THINK about Facebook ever being a threat of negative energy to ruin my day. However, there it was. I've grown antennae for happy thoughts and pixie dust on my quest to filter out negativity. Wasn't I in for a shock when I realized something I would have normally said I enjoy was harboring a swamp of negativity that is bringing me down?! (Disclaimer: Again, the book didn't specify what you should and shouldn't have to lead a happy life. This Facebook epiphany is my own; I'm not saying it is negative for everyone's journey and hopefully it isn't in yours!)

So before I get trigger happy and delete my Facebook account, I'm going to sit down and really commit to the why's and how's of why my little negative radar is beeping uncontrollably when it senses Facebook activity. Afterall, Facebook has brought me a lot of joy in the past so I at least owe it a fair and reasonable departure. I put a great deal of thought into it and I've created my very own 10 day program I so lovingly am referring to as the "Two-Faced"-book Countdown. Each day I will explain one different reason as to why Facebook should be filtered out of my routine. Not only will this make me see why this decision itself is a positive one, it will serve as a reminder when on the tenth day I undoubtedly freak out before hitting the "enter" key as Facebook asks me "Are you SURE you want to delete your account?". Yes, Facebook, I'm sure...

...hopefully.

Coming up... Day One. Reason #10: They're Going Down & They're Taking Me With Them!




(Oh, and I promise I haven't forgotten to keep you posted on Disney World and the new house... Spoiler Alert: it was UNFORGETTABLE!)